Corporate Shill

Had to go to the local mailbox and shipping store today to ship some stuff. It's a nice day, so I figured I'd walk there. I got my bag and the box I needed to ship and headed out. Once my task was complete, I made my way over to the nearest Starbucks to spend some Christmas gift card money on some coffee. A nice afternoon, this. As I walked out the door, I fit my white earbuds into my ears, sipped on my espresso and pressed play on my wee little iPod. A family waiting for a table at Bob's Big Boy watched me with a collectively bored and steady gaze as I sauntered down the sidewalk toward them; I made eye-contact with their young daughter and it was at that exact moment that self-conciousness dropped on my head like a big, greasy Big Boy burger.

Lessee . . .

• white, iPod earbuds? - check
• white Starbucks cup with green logo? - check
• brown adidas with distinctive "trefoil" stripes? - check
• short sleeve, button down shirt with bright red "Dickies" logo stiched to left bicep? - check

If there's ever been a time in my life when I've felt more like a walking billboard, it isn't readily springing to mind. Oh wait, there was that one time at the gym that I wore a navy blue sleeveless t-shirt with "PONY" written on the chest in bold, white, block letters. That was pretty bad. Never wore that one again, I'll tell you right now, though the sideways glances I got that day were moderately priceless.

Oh well, whatcha gonna do? I like my Dickies shirt, I like my iPod (which I've dubbed "The Entertainment Dot"), I like my adidas - I even like free Starbucks coffee. Can I help it if companies like to emblazon their trademarks all over every product they produce? No.
Can I avoid carrying/wearing them all in a kaliedoscope of logos? Yes, but then there are those days (like today) when the corporate singularity drags all of the various elements into its event horizon and there is no escape. It is at those times that I'm forced to advertise for the products I paid cash money for. The very same products I'm enjoying are also the ones that are making me bitter. How ironic.